A while back she had the cartridge

removed from her knee. They put her

on stereo to reduce the information.

Then she had to have the cactuses

taken out of her eyes. Sadly her friend

contracted M & S and her husband

had trouble with his prostrate gland.

It made him incontinental, but his new diet

did wonders for him – polyurethane margarine.

But when she started going to Weight Lifters

that finished all of them. They had no-one

to turn to for consolidation.

Susan Jordan writes both poetry and prose. She has had poems published in a number of print and online magazines including Acumen, Ink, Sweat & Tears, Obsessed with Pipework and Snakeskin, and in Spilling Cocoa. Her first collection, A House of Empty Rooms, is coming out later this year.

 

Clog 

In search of worthy epithet to praise the lovely clog,

The poet’s mind went AWOL in a thick prosaic fog.

And though he searched as would the most creative pedagogue,

The words remained elusive like Idukki’s Purple Frog.

 

So he gave up …
Jonathan Humble is a deputy head teacher. He is the Poet Laureate for the Tripe Marketing Board and Rossendale’s Sunday Clog Market. Other than writing poetry and short stories, his hobbies include beard growing, pointing at poppies and keeping the international coffee industry afloat with his patronage.

The Rules of Salsa

1. Warm up beforehand.
2. Let the man lead.
3. Stay relaxed.
4. Let the man lead.
5. Take small steps.
6. Let the man lead.
7. Maintain your balance.
8. Let the man lead.
9. Tie your hair up.
10. Let the man lead.
11. Keep a straight torso.
12. Let the man lead.
13. Swing those hips!
14. Let the man lead.
15. Shoulders down.
16. Let the man lead.
17. Turn on a dime.
18. Let the man lead.
19. Never refuse a dance.
20. LET THE MAN LEAD!

Maeve O’Sullivan has published her poems and haiku widely over the last twenty years. She is the author of three collections of haiku / poetry from Alba Publishing. When not engaged in writing poetry or performing her work with the Poetry Divas (wearing boas), she works in education in Dublin.