Openings Henry Moore walks sideways on the stairway down to the cellar – keeps his eyes on the...

Sarah, the Neighbour’s Child She would lean forward and turn to gaze at me from her pushchair...

Penniless, sodden, splattered with mud and paint, we cling to our brushes and easels, catch tree-bark and bareness, the...

Wallpaper It was no menial operation nineteen sixty seven when the decision was taken to paper the...

Anaconda I once had a pet anaconda, Of which I could not have been fonder, Though it caused...

able I wrote into my note app I ate beans on toast for the millionth time no exaggeration I...

After the ...Suffering divine Jesus Christ almighty Grant me the serenity to be an utter fucker Grant me...

Nursery Rhyme for a President There was a crooked man who had a crooked smile He found...

Maisie Maisie went crazy out in St Tropez And got sunburned wearing her thong And when calamine cream...

Here's one concerning my embarrassment at the conversation I was forced to have with a...